SAN DIEGO, CA: March 11, 2007 5:45 PST (This is a rush draft subject to additional edit. Not for public consumption)

“I am the father of Dannielynn, Anna Nicole’s baby.” “Yeah, that’s the ticket.” Tommy Flanagan, inventor of the Yellow Pages, former husband of Morgan Fairchild and frequent White House Lincoln Bedroom guest, entered to spring forward with the revelation at a brunch commiserating Daylight Savings Time hosted by the news content organization; Outeasy, at San Diego’s Hotel Del Coronado’s soon to be more famous seaside brasserie, “1500 Ocean.”

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Out Easy, Editor-In-Chief and the events benefactor was quoted, “It is a beautiful day, a perfect time for this change.” “I believe this will be a ‘win-win’ for everybody,” added Mr. Easy. Pressed as to the validity of Flanagan’s parentage in light of the spate of possibles now including O. J. Simpson, Easy concluded, “Mr. Simpson and his publicist (Norm Pardo) need to fall back.” “This is not a day for O. J.” Shaker Boys from the adjacent Babcock & Story bar were busy entertaining wellwishers with Ramos Gin Fizzes, and one unidentified attendee was overheard attesting, “It makes perfect sense, I mean, Dannielynn and Flanagan, they’re both Irish names, right?”

This story will continue as feed becomes available.

“Everybody Is Up To Something.” sm

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